7 secrets to improving your body image this January
I write and podcast about the psychology of eating disorders. I have personally recovered from bulimia and have worked as a therapist for 20 years. I hope to inspire, educate and improve understanding about eating disorders through my writing and audio. Names used are fictional and stories shared are a combined insight of many client experiences. I believe that full recovery is possible for everyone.
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Poor body image can be a destructive and confidence zapping bane on your life.
It lingers with a veil of negativity that permeates many waking moments and saps your mood.
You might wake up and think about your body.
Within minutes, you’re already headed to the bathroom for a morning weigh-in, or touched your stomach, whilst evaluating the contours, or felt anxious about what to wear.
The Mental Health Foundation in collaboration with YouGov in 2019 found that one in five adults (20%) felt shame, just over one-third (34%) felt down or low, and 19% felt disgusted by their body image in the last year.
This is a deeply concerning statistic, as poor body image is frequently linked to anxiety, depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem.
Poor body image is incredibly detrimental to mental health.
You might feel deeply confused about how to navigate a healthy attitude to body image.
It’s January and the blaring sound of chasing thinness and wellness ideals is hitting a crescendo. Whilst the backlash from the anti-diet space promotes the opposite.
Maybe you are genuinely wishing to reject the thin idealisation but also can’t get on board one hundred per cent with body positivity, which in some instances seems ignoring of genuine body respect, health and self-care.
You might also be impacted by the muscularity, lean body aesthetic and have transferred your body dissatisfaction towards ‘gains’ rather than thinness.
Unsurprisingly, if you’ve struggled with disordered eating or poor self-esteem, body positivity may feel a little unachievable and overwhelming.
Feelings of dissatisfaction and shame may understandably still be lingering, and you may see a long and daunting road ahead.
Over-evaluation of body in determining worth
When you’ve struggled with an eating disorder your body focus is disproportionate and taking up much head space.
In the same way that a football fanatic might think about football 24/7, you will be thinking about your body a great deal.
This will feel ‘normal’ to you though.
It’s a central component to the problem of poor body image.
With 60,000 thoughts plus per day running through your mind and many being repetitive, your engrained neural pathways will be frequently firing with body thoughts.
Unconsciously, your head will be firmly deep down the rabbit hole of body preoccupation.
‘I feel fat’.
‘My stomach looks bloated’.
‘That person has thinner legs than me’.
You will be judging, looking, perceiving, noting, criticising your body multiple times per day. The programme may well be running on autopilot.
One of the ways to achieve greater peace with your body, is to get your head out of the ‘My body is wrong,’ rabbit hole and see the wider picture of life.
Now, this sounds simple. It is not.
Body image is complicated, and the body keeps the score.
Poor image is far more than vanity and appearance and is often rooted deeply in your psyche.
It’s formed through life experiences that you had when you were younger and vulnerable.
Then you absorbed these detrimental triggers like an innocent sponge, soaking up your environment.
This results in body feelings running like deep rivers through your mind.
The critical body perceptions feel like facts.
And anything that you apply focus to in life, tends to expand exponentially.
The reticular activating system in your brain filters out the noise and stimuli that it receives in every moment.
Yours’ will be adept at filtering in the body image triggers and filtering out the other aspects of life.
You will have an over-evaluation of body weight/shape in determining your self-worth and likeability.
Your worth will have become overly dependent on body image factors to feel good.
So how can you begin to change this?
1. Understand your body image story
Your body image is largely perception rather than fact.
Your body has lived a diverse and winding tumultuous journey with many experiences and feedback.
Write out your own body image timeline.
Think about your family environment.
Diet culture messages.
Family and friends – their relationship with food and the impact on you.
Trauma.
Bullying,
Puberty.
Influences at school.
Social media.
Anything else.
The thoughts, beliefs, feelings and perceptions that you have about your body may feel like absolute certainty, as linked to your personal story.
But feelings are not facts, and your perception will often be distorted.
View your body image history through a different lens, imagining that you are a loving parent engaging with your younger self.
Offer yourself compassion and understanding when you consider the journey that your body has been through and the varying influences.
Begin to retell your own body image story with loving kindness and question with curiosity the labels and influences inflicted on you.
2. Aiming for body neutrality over body positivity
Hopefully, you might remember a time as a young child, where body thoughts were largely non-existent.
You happily cruised through your day, without even thinking about the size of thighs or flat tummies.
Body neutrality is taking steps to return to this carefree and less body-focused version of you.
Back then, your body was not an ornament to be perfected or sculpted; it was a reliable vessel to move you around.
Body neutrality leads you towards this place.
Rather than trying to shower your body in buckets of self-love, it guides you towards body respect and showing less interest in your body overall.
It involves valuing your body for what it can do over pure aesthetics.
Your body has amazing physiology. Hopefully, you can run for a bus or lift something from the top shelf, with relative ease. A mobile body is a wonderful gift.
Acknowledge that your body is worthy of appreciation and love and take baby steps towards this. Gently, direct your thoughts and self-talk away from judgement and criticism.
Remember that your body is your sacred home.
It is worthy of basic self-care and more.
Think about what your body has done for you today – concentrating on health, movement or physiology.
You might want to jot down three points in a journal to direct your focus in this direction.
This helps create a valuable habit of thinking about your body differently.
3. The weighing scales
Obsessive weighing rarely boosts self-worth or confidence.
If the number on the scales decreases, anxiety rises around maintaining this.
If the number rises, then you’ll likely react through overeating or restricting, with food preoccupation dominating the day.
If you are unhelpfully attached to the scales, thoughts connecting weight with worth will predominate. The weighing scales are like a critical authority figure. It’s so hard to win.
It’s tricky to be distracted from that number, once it’s imprinted in your mind.
So, work to change your relationship with the scales and reduce your interaction with them.
4. Mirror, mirror on the wall
Glancing in the mirror to check your outfit or to do make-up is constructive.
Scrutinising least favoured body parts and critically zooming in for several minutes is not.
You probably don’t view the background or see your body as a whole.
Instead, you micro-examine and pick apart the perceived faults and body imperfections.
What you focus on, tends to expand. Judgemental thoughts will ripple like waves through your mind, following a body dissection session.
Notice how you are viewing yourself in the mirror.
Notice the frequency of body checking.
You might wish to make some changes here.
5. Compare and despair
As a human being, you will naturally compare yourself to others, to determine social status and rank. You might be inspired or influenced by others, in a positive way.
Contrastingly, if you have poor body image, you’ll be making relentless comparisons with others, as you go about your daily life.
It’s detrimental, as it’s almost impossible to win with comparisons.
A fleeting feeling of superiority gained lasts all but for a short burst of time.
The familiar feeling of inferiority can contaminate your day and poison it to the core.
You’ll also likely compare yourself to specific people – not with every person that crosses your path.
Certain individuals might trigger unwanted feelings of envy and inadequacy. Notice your patterns here, as this may be rooted in earlier experiences.
No-one wins at comparisons.
Even the super-model who is comparing, cannot feel safe in self-esteem, as a younger, prettier, slenderer version is always on the horizon.
Every time you notice yourself comparing, stop and direct your thoughts to something else.
Remind yourself that this does not serve you.
Instead, go inwards and appreciate your own individual strengths and attributes.
6. Expand your world outwards
Instead of spending precious time searching diet or wellness plans with days revolving around food and exercise, expand your world outwards to include other interests.
You might need to reconnect with hobbies that used to inspire and light you up.
You might wish to think about your purpose and enjoyment of work.
You may wish to reflect on your relationships.
Whether it be travel or cats or art or something else, there is a world waiting for you, outside of a body focus.
7. Nature
Beauty is not only found in media images, perfected aesthetics or the material world.
Nature offers a plethora of wonder and magic, as you step outside in the world.
The night sky can be absorbing and enchanting.
A white snowdrop can be vibrant and beautiful.
Try to get into nature for short periods every day and remember to look up and around you.
Absorb the mini doses of exquisiteness delivered to you daily through the natural world and gently expand your vision of beauty towards something else entirely.
Working on body image can be a challenging proposition.
Be kind and patient with yourself in this process.
You may wish to look at my online Body Image Training course for professionals HERE.
Do share a tip from your own journey in improving your body image.
To find out more about my work:-
Go to my Website
ONLINE COURSES
Online 10 Steps to Intuitive Eating - a course to help you heal your relationship with food.
Online Breaking Free from Bulimia - a course to help you break free from bulimia nervosa.
Eating Disorders Training for Professionals - training for therapists in working with clients with eating disorders.
Body Image Training for Professionals - training for therapists in working with clients with body image issues.
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